37 Things to do in an Elevator
by LittleBlueNayru
Summary: America and Prussia do 37 things in an elevator.  The rest of the world is not amused.


Disclaimer: I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia, the list of 37 things to do in an elevator, or Domino's pizza.

If you did this idea already, I _swear_ I didn't steal it. I've never seen another oneshot like this.

Well, hi! You might have seen me before in other fandoms, but this is my first story for Axis Powers Hetalia! Now, since I'm no writing newb, I'd like you to be completely honest about your reaction if you review. Especially any typos you spotted, since I wrote this at 1 am. Please alert me to any errors in my French. Also, I _am_ Alfredian, so I _did_ mutilate some spelling... (_Someone save me. This is the land of morons. No offense Al_.)

I know it's nowhere near April Fool's Day, but too bad. The idea wouldn't leave me alone.

I know that I may have stereotyped certain countries at certain points, so I'm sorry if I offend anyone. I'm also sorry I ended it lamely. Also, I have nothing against metal music; I like it. A lot. I also have no idea how emergency calls from elevators go, seeing as I have never had the guts to press any of the pretty red buttons. So I just made that part up. It's a plot device! Don't sue me! I also don't know how exorcisms work. Again, it's a plot device. And again, I'm broke!

The list of 37 things to do in an elevator follows the story. French translations are:

_Angleterre; Am__é__rique; Allemange:_ England; America; Germany.

_la verit__é_: the truth.

_agac__ant_: annoying. (The C is supposed to have a cedille accent mark, but the site completely screwed up the letter when I added it.)

_Calme-toi_: Calm down; literally, calm yourself, or calm-you.

* * *

37 Things to do in an Elevator

America was _booooooored_.

It was another one of those world meeting-things, and of course, no one wanted to listen to him amaze the world with his awesome heroic ideas. Seriously, why did England keep calling them idiotic and lame? A giant superhero was probably the best idea since hamburgers!

In any case, America was _boooooooored_.

And what really sucked, in his opinion, was that he knew exactly what he would be doing if he wasn't at a world meeting. Because tomorrow was April Fool's Day, and he would have loved to prank all the nations just for the laughs. So maybe pissing off Germany and Switzerland and Russia weren't such great ideas, and England would throw a fit, but it would have been worth it for the laughs!

And the meetings were so _booooooring_...

America continued surfing the net randomly, when he came across a link on Google. _37 Things to do in an Elevator_.

America knew what he was going to do the next day. He reached for his cellphone with a wide grin and dialed.

"The awesome me is speaking! How may I serve your less awesomeness?"

"Prussia! It's been a while."

"America?"

"The one and only!"

"What's up?"

"Listen man, you need to get to the world conference as soon as possible. I have an _awesome_ idea for an April Fool's Day prank."

* * *

China sprinted towards the elevator, hoping the doors would stay open long enough to let him get on. They started to close as he ran in, nearly catching his sleeve. Satisfied with this small victory, he stopped over, panting, listening to the quiet _ding _as the elevator's doors shut.

"Don't worry, the doors open up again."

China had a heart attack.

He jumped a foot in the air and pivoted around, coming face-to-face with a beaming American. "America! I didn't see you there, aru."

"I know," the younger nation replied cheerfully. "Which floor?"

"Uhm... the eleventh floor... the one we've held our meetings in for the past week, aru?"

"Right, right," America agreed easily, before proceeding to press the buttons for floors two through eleven. Ignoring the raised eyebrow China gave him, he stepped away from the buttons and leaned back against the wall, smiling happily at the older nation.

On floor seven, China decided that he couldn't understand why America was acting more stupid than usual. Or at least, more airheaded. He pointedly ignored his gaze as the doors shut for the umpteenth time, but when he noticed the American's smile widen at floor eight, he turned to him warily. "What?"

"I have new socks on," America exclaimed, beaming.

"That's... nice, aru."

"Aaaahhh..." America sighed wistfully and stared at the ceiling. "This reminds me of being buried alive. Oh, those were the days..."

China gave America a semi-horrified, semi-confused look, before edging as far away from the other nation, still staring dreamily at the ceiling, laughing to himself once or twice.

Finally, the elevator reached the eleventh floor. China made to leave the elevator but noticed that America was not following. "Aren't you coming, aru? The meeting is on this floor."

"I forgot my briefcase," America said, just as happily as before. "I'll see you in the meeting later."

"Sure, aru..." China said, not knowing what to make of America's odder-than-usual behavior. Wishing to put it behind him, he strode down the hall toward the meeting room, not noticing America's smirk as he turned away.

As soon as the doors shut, America whipped a small checklist and pen out of his pocket. _Items one, two, and four, check!_

* * *

"_Angleterre,_ why are you so hard on poor _Am__é__rique?_ It must be so hard on him, having such an _agac__ant_ nation harassing him all the time."

"Who are you to talk about harassment?" England roared as he all but broke the _UP_ button in between the two elevators, glancing up with increasing ire to see which elevator would pick him up first. "Bloody wanker."

"I speak only _la verit__é__!_" France chuckled, holding up his arms in surrender. "If there is any sexual tension between you two, you should solve it outside of meetings. Preferably in your hotel room. And with me there."

England's face was now flushed with anger. "Shut up, you damn frog. The sooner the meetings end, the sooner I get out of your stupid country, and the sooner I get away from you _and_ that headache. The sooner the better!"

Just then, the elevator arrived, doors sliding open with a _ding_. "Ah, but you did not deny it, non?" The Frenchman chuckled as he and his irate companion walked inside.

England growled, but before he could make a retort, a loud voice greeted them. "Hello! Call me your SUPER-AWESOME SUPREMACY HIGHNESS!"

The two bickering nations paused to see Prussia- _Prussia_- standing in the elevator wearing a black tuxedo, an old-fashioned fur-lined cape fit for a king, and a gaudy child's crown, along with a cheap plastic stick that seemed to serve the purpose of a scepter. Prussia had his arms folded across his chest, regarding them with superiority and condescension.

"What the hell are you _doing_ here, Prussia?" England snapped, stepping towards the ex-nation.

Prussia butted him with his scepter. "Ah-ah-ah, this is the personal space of the Awesome Me," he said, indicating the duct-tape square on the floor. "It is reserved for awesome people alone, and you most certainly do _not_ fit in the category of awesome. Nobody does, when compared to my awesomeness!"

"What are you doing here, Prussia?" France asked, staring at him with confusion.

"The awesome me can be where he wants, when he wants!" Prussia announced, before giving England a hard look. "And no _un-awesome_ person is going to tell me otherwise! But if you really want to know, I'm looking for West," he said, giving them a smirk as he ended his tirade. "Now what floor are you guys on this time?"

"Eleven," said France, busy restraining a certain red-faced Englishman.

Prussia hit the button for floor eight.

"DOLT!" England roared, attempting to lunge at Prussia. "Are you bloody _deaf?_ He said floor _eleven!_"

"Is that your final answer?" Prussia asked, fixing England with a serious stare.

"I—what?" England hissed, confused out of his fury but not his anger.

"Is that your final answer?" Prussia repeated. Geez, what kind of un-awesome person didn't know what _Who Wants to Be a Millionaire_ was?

"Uh... sure..." England said, giving Prussia strange looks.

"Alright then!" Prussia said, pressing the button for floor twelve.

"WANKER!" England very nearly screamed. "I SAID FLOOR ELEVEN!"

Prussia suddenly gave England an affronted look. "You should be ashamed of yourself!" he said, scandalized. "I can't believe you would even _think_ of _saying_ something like that!"

"What are you going on about?"

Prussia tutted, "How dare you say something so offensive?" he said, turning his nose up and away from the fuming Englishman. He proceeded to ignore him pointedly, huffing indignantly every now and again.

France quietly pressed the button for floor eleven and dragged England to the other side of the elevator, placing himself between the two nations. "Now, now, _Angleterre_, do not concern yourself with the mystery that is Prussia."

"That is 'Your Super-Awesome Supremacy Highness'!" Prussia corrected with a wagging of his fingers.

Finally, the elevator made a _ding_ sound, and opened onto the eleventh floor, which had never looked more welcome to France and England.

"Well, gentleman," Prussia smirked as the two nations heaved a sigh of relief, "I congratulate you for occupying the same elevator as the Super-Awesome Supremacy that is me. If you're lucky, maybe some of my infinite Awesome will rub off on you un-awesome nobodies, and you will have a shred of hope in your un-awesome lives. Good day!"

England's face began to go from pink to red again, so France shoved him away from the doors and turned to look back at the Prussian with confusion. "Wait! Then where are you going? I thought you were looking for _Allemange_."

Prussia's smirk deepened. "Nope, I'm headed for the lobby. Goodbye, you un-awesome wannabe losers!" And with that the doors shut.

England was breathing heavily, glaring murderously at the silver elevator doors. France gave him a worried look before steering him down the hall. "This is Prussia we're dealing with, _Angleterre_. Calme-toi. It's time for the meeting."

Prussia let loose a loud cackle as he reached floor five and America joined him. He grabbed the checklist from America and made a few marks on the paper. _Numbers thirteen, sixteen, twenty-one, twenty-seven, thirty five, _and_ thirty six all taken care of. But damn, I'm just that awesome!_

* * *

America sprinted back from the parking lot with a briefcase and cooler in his hands. "Kiku, waaaaaait!" he wailed as he saw Japan stepping into an elevator.

The solemn country looked up before nodding and reaching inside the elevator to hold the doors open. For a few moments, all he heard were America's frantic footsteps.

All of a sudden, the briefcase and cooler were thrown in with a huge crash. America followed a second later, holding his shoes in his hands.

That was a little odd.

"Ah... America-san?" Japan asked.

"Yeah Kiku?" America beamed.

"Why have you taken your shoes off?"

America gave his shoes a confused glance before staring at Japan's shoes, which were still on the other nation's feet. America gave Japan's shoes a shocked look before whipping his eyes up to frown at the other nation. "Why _haven't_ you?" he asked, affronted. "Jeez, Japan, _rude much_?" America huffed and turned away from Japan and towards his stuff, ignoring the smaller nation coldly.

Japan's mind went into overdrive. Had he done something wrong? Or was it just America? But what if it was an American custom to take shoes off when entering elevators? What if he had horribly offended the other nation? What if he caused a huge fuss over international relationships with the other country and-

"Ah, you waited for me! That is very kind of you, da?"

With a start, Japan realized he had not let go of the door-open button. By the time he released it, Russia was already inside, smiling serenely and seemingly obliviously to the panic attack he was giving Japan. Not only was _Russia_ in the same elevator as him, but he was in it with _America_, with whom he shared a lukewarm relationship at best, and who was currently upset with Japan, for some reason or another.

Up until floor five, the ride was quiet, if not a little tense. Then, America reached down to grab his briefcase, and opened it so very slightly. He peered in and hissed, "Got enough air in there?"

Japan's eyes widened at the strange behavior, and Russia shot him a strange look. Now Japan was really starting to worry. Did America really have something... _live_... in his briefcase? What? How could it possibly _fit_? What if it was _dangerous_? What if-

"America."

"Hm?" America shut his briefcase and stared up at Russia's innocent face.

"Why does that cooler you carry say, 'Human Head'?"

"'Cause that's what it's holding, duh."

The silence absorbed his statement for a second before Japan began quietly breathing rapidly. Just what was going on here... Japan wasn't sure he wanted to know, but America was starting to scare him almost as much as Russia did.

Russia seemed morbidly curious as opposed to nauseated and off-put. "Why? Is it for another one of your strange presentations?"

"Russia. It's in a cooler. What do you _think_ it's for?" America asked, as if the answer was rhetorical.

"I don't know..." Russia said, slight confusion in his voice.

"It's for lunch. _Duh._"

Japan jammed the button of the nearest floor. Not two seconds later the doors opened, and the small country dashed out madly, looking heavily disconcerted. It didn't matter to him that he had to walk up three flights of stairs, if only it meant getting away from the two creepy nations occupying the elevator!

As the doors closed, Russia giggled. "That was a good joke, America. Maybe we could be good friends if your sense of humor was always so great. We might even become one, da?"

America willed his act not to fall. Instead, he opted for swatting at the imaginary flies around his head. Russia turned when his comment went ignored, and gave him a confused look. He proceeded to ignore the American until, at floor ten, America tapped him on the back of his shoulder and then pretended it wasn't him when the larger country turned to look at him. When they finally reached floor eleven, The two nations walked out side by side in a tolerable, but uncomfortable, silence.

"Places everyone!" France called, clapping his hands for silence. As the meeting was being held in his country, he led the discussions. America took his seat silently and pulled out his checklist again, filling in some more boxes with checks. _Numbers five, nine, twenty-four, thirty-three, and thirty-four, check. Oh, the fun we shall have this afternoon..._

* * *

As expected, absolutely nothing got done during the meeting. Latvia got up to speak after France's opening statements, and was promptly interrupted by America, with a stupid comment he thought was absolutely necessary to share with the rest of the world. As usual, England made a derisive comment and France felt the need to chime in, and before long every other nation was fighting with at least one other person for some stupid reason or another while Germany gripped his head in his hands and pleaded with the powers that may or may not be to strike him where they stood if they had any love or mercy in their hearts at all.

Nobody seemed to notice that America was currently texting Prussia over his plans for the elevators before and after the lunch break.

Three hours of complete and utter nonsense passed before Germany took America's idea- a brilliant one, for once- of using an air horn to get everyone's attention. After restoring order and turning the meeting over to France, the country promptly declared a lunch break.

America dashed outside, confusing plenty of other nations, and was pleased to note that Prussia had already taken care of putting an "Out of Service" sign on the left elevator. Feigning impatience, America rapidly jammed the DOWN button outside of the elevator as England, France, Germany, and Japan walked out behind him.

"C'mon c'mon c'mooooon..." the young nation muttered as he pressed the button repeatedly, earning confused looks from the nations behind him. Japan suddenly froze and dipped, popping his head back up with his shoes in his hand, earning him confused looks from Germany, England and France.

Finally, the elevator doors opened with a _ding_, and America hurried in.

"WELCOME TO ELEVATOR TWO!" Prussia's voice boomed as France, England, Germany and Japan entered. "We are glad you have chosen to ascend and descend to various floors with us today, on one of the world's most state-of-the-art, streamlined elevators! I am Prussia- but you may call me your Super-Awesome Supremacy Highness- and I will be your lift attendant for today! Please keep all body parts, especially the vital regions, inside the elevator until it has made a complete stop. Thank you and have a great day on Prussian Elevators!"

As the doors closed behind them, Japan, England, Germany and France couldn't help but think that they had made a huge mistake.

And why was America wearing his shoes?

Japan began darting his eyes nervously at the other occupants of the elevator, but no one, not even America, seemed to be concerned at the wearing of shoes in the elevator...

England began to grit his teeth when America began to yell "DING!" at each floor.

"I wonder what this button does?" Prussia muttered, pressing one of the red emergency buttons.

"BOOOOOOOM!" America yelled as Prussia pressed the button, startling the other four.

Then the alarm bells went off. The elevator froze on floor six.

England's face started to grow red for the twenty-ninth time that day. "Imbecile! What do you think you're _doing_, pressing the fucking emergency buttons?"

"I don't need to think! I'm awesome!" Prussia cheered, pressing the emergency call button. "Say, take a picture of my awesomeness, will you?" he said, flashing a grin and a thumbs-up at England.

America wordlessly got out his phone and took a few pictures of Prussia. Then he took a picture of a confused Japan and France, one of an amazingly still docile Germany, and one of a furious England.

England directed his anger at the younger nation. "And just what are _you_ doing, imbecilic brat?"

_"911, please state your emergency,_" a woman's voice suddenly said over the now obviously-existent speaker system.

Oh, right. Prussia pressed the emergency call button after pressing the emergency button.

"Right, this is the Super Fucking Awesome Supremacy Highness you are speaking to, and I want a large deep-dish pizza with extra cheese, ham, sausage, pepperoni, anchovies, and green peppers from Domino's, and I want it now, or you're fired. You got that, you un-awesome loser?"

Everyone else besides America, snickering inconspicuously in the corner of the elevator, turned to gape at the Prussian. For his awesomeness, of course. England even forgot about his fury, as he stood staring at Prussia and his supposed idiocy with his mouth wide open in shock.

In the short silence following Prussia's absurd demand, America tapped Japan on the back of his shoulder. "Was that your beeper?"

Nobody had time to comment on America's stupidity, because Prussia's once again took center stage.

"_E-excuse me? This is 911 you've called! Not a pizza place! State your emergency before I report this as a prank call!_"

"You can't report what goes on inside an elevator, you un-awesome wench!" Prussia exclaimed. "And this isn't a prank call! The Super Fucking Awesome Supremacy Highness that is me can get room service pizza _from_ wherever I like, delivered _to_ me wherever I like, _when_ever I like it! Now hurry up and get me my fucking pizza already! Awesomeness doesn't wait for losers!"

The woman on the line began muttering something about goddamn prank calls in the middle of Prussia's rant and hung up on the second "pizza". After a moment, the elevator started moving again, evidence that the woman had reported the emergency as a fake and gotten the building's maintenance team to start the elevator again. Prussia snarled and began muttering obscenities under his breath, turning towards the wall in apparent sulk-mode. Covertly, he took out his cell phone and speed-dialed America.

All of a sudden, screams and heavy metal were pouring from America's phone at top volume, seriously scaring the other four occupants of the elevator. They turned to him expectantly, but America was gazing dreamily around the elevator as if he was deaf. It took twenty seconds and half of England's remaining nerves before the music -if it could even be called that- stopped.

Finally, the elevator reached the lobby, and Prussia went back into flight-attendant mode as if nothing had ever happened. "Please remain inside the elevator until it comes to a full and complete stop. Do not walk towards the doors until the floor light has turned off. Thank you and have a nice day." He then proceeded to try and wrench the doors apart himself, looking thoroughly embarrassed when they opened on their own.

From his little corner, America began to sniffle.

Prussia slyly pressed the DOOR OPEN button as England, Germany, France and Japan turned to look back at him, and America stared at them with watery eyes. "Guys... this whole elevator ride was a real eye-opener for me, a real life-changing experience. I've come to know you guys so well through those endless two minutes, and I just want you to know... I'll never forget you!" he ended, bawling. "Group hug!"

One irate, three confused, and one snickering country suddenly found themselves in America's embrace.

"Well, goodbye to you weird nobodies! See ya never!" America suddenly exclaimed, before grabbing his briefcase- and his _cooler_, Japan noted nauseously- and hurrying out the elevator doors. Prussia walked out a moment later, yelling to anyone in earshot that he was the new Supreme Fucking Awesome Ruler of Awesome, and four seriously confused nations all ambled out a moment after, wondering if the world's pollution was causing the two nations' brains to decay at an accelerated rate.

* * *

"That was awesome, man, pure awesome!" Prussia cheered as he met up with America around the corner in a deserted hallway, joining the other nation who was already doubled over with laughter.

America gave one last chuckle before wiping tears out of his eyes and grabbed his briefcase and cooler, leading Prussia down the hall to a small unused conference room. One inside, he locked the door and put the cooler on the table, pulling out two sodas, two huge sandwiches, and a bag of cookies.

Prussia snickered as the contents were revealed. "Just what did you _do_ with that thing, man? Japan looked like he was having a fucking heart attack when he saw that thing!"

"Russia joined us in the elevator, and when he asked why I had a human head, I said, 'It's for lunch, _duh_.'"

Prussia roared with laughter. "Aw man, you probably scared Kiku shitless!" He laughed some more before sighing a happy sigh and digging into his sandwich, looking over the list. "So, just now, we took care of numbers thirty-seven, thirty-two, thirty, twenty-six, twenty-three, twenty-two, twenty, fourteen, twelve, eleven, and six. And earlier, we got through one, two, four, five, thirteen, sixteen, twenty-one, twenty-four, twenty-seven, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, and thirty-six. And we've got the ride up after lunch, and the one back down after the meeting lets out, to do the rest. What do we have left?"

"Three, seven, eight, ten, fifteen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty-five, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, and thirty-one. And the optional thirty-eight through forty."

Prussia looked over the list again. "Damn. None of the optional ones are that great, except for maybe forty. Although, I could jump on the elevator as it's going down, pretending to try to break it.

"If you get England or your brother, you'll give them high blood pressure," America smirked. Prussia suppressed a laugh. Then his eyes suddenly lit up.

"Dude, you are doing numbers three, eight, and ten. With England there."

America gave him a confused look.

Prussia grinned. "Don't you see? It's _England_ we're talking about here! Ten will be sure to worry him, but eight and three? He'll go berserk!"

America's eyes glazed over in thought before he realized what Prussia meant and leaned back, laughing hard, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Oh _damn_ but that's awesome!" America breathed. "Alright, so I got three, eight, and ten. Any ones you want to do?"

Prussia skimmed the list again, before deciding. "Seven," he grinned deviously, "and fifteen. I guess we'll split up the others as we go. And we need to do nineteen and thirty-one on different rides."

America looked over the list at the indicated items. "Yeah, that's true. Umm... I want to do ten, eight, and three now, so do thirty-one right after lunch."

"Speaking of which," Prussia glanced at the clock over the door, "Your lunch break is over in ten minutes. If we want to be there before the others, we need to head back now."

Wordlessly, the two packed up their lunches, tossed out their trash, and made their way back to the elevators. Prussia put another "Out of Order" sign on one elevator as America changed in a black sweatshirt. The two countries then filed into the "working" elevator; America with his face in the corner, Prussia leaning against the front side of the elevator, unable to be seen from the doorway.

With a _ding_, the silver doors slid shut. Now all that was left to do was wait.

* * *

England strode through the lobby, much refreshed after an exquisite luncheon at a rather quaint cafe just off the Champs Élysées. Not that he would ever let the damn frog know that the cooking in his country was good.

He met Germany at the elevator and nodded to the stoic nation as a greeting. Germany nodded back in companionable silence, and with a _ding_, the doors opened.

"Hide it- quick!" a voice hissed urgently. Before either country had time to identify the voice or the object being hidden, they heard the ruffling of something being placed in a bag.

Entering the elevator, they discovered Prussia shoving something into a bag of rough fabric furtively, giving them a smirk as they walked on.

"East... what are you doing here?" Germany asked.

"Whatever I want to do, duh! I am the Super Fucking Awesome Supremacy Highness, and I can do what I want, when I want to!"

England groaned and settled for rubbing his temples. Not this song and dance again...

Then he noticed a tall figure in the corner of the elevator. The person sported somewhat-nice pants and a black sweatshirt with the hood up, and England thought he heard dark muttering from the person. "Um, hello there," he said awkwardly.

Germany looked up just as America turned around and faced England with one impassive eye before turning back to his corner, most definitely muttering under his breath.

England took a step towards the younger nation, happy to have someone to talk to, even if that someone had been driving him insane before lunch. "America! I didn't notice you! Keep that up and you'll end up like what's-his-face!"

* * *

Elsewhere, what's-his-face sneezed.

"Bless you," Kumajirou said on a reflex.

"Thanks, Kumakiki."

"...Who are you?"

"I'm Canada..."

* * *

England cleared his throat. "So, America, how was your lunch?"

America said nothing in response to England's conversation starter, but England definitely heard him hissing, "Get out of my _head_, you bastard."

America's voice dropped to a bass, as opposed to his normal mezzo-tenor. "I don't think so. If you would just allow me to take over, then we wouldn't be having this problem."

The normal voice returned. "Like hell I'll let you use _me_ for your twisted schemes. I'm the hero! I don't do un-heroic stuff like you."

Back to bass. "Oh, but you will, you foolish mortal. You have no choice. Now, allow me to enter you quietly."

"Shut _up_!" America whispered, although everyone could hear. I'll show _you_ quietly!"

He slapped his own face, knocking Texas off.

Silence filled the elevator as the glasses clattered to the floor. Prussia backed away from America with both hands muffling his snickers, as both Germany and England gaped at the loud nation.

Confused, a disconcerted England stooped to the floor and picked up Texas. "Um... America, you... dropped-"

"Those are _mine!_" America snarled, switching from normal-voice to ominous-voice mid-sentence. America quickly swiped his glasses and put them back on, groaning. "No... get _out_... dammit..."

Then, he gave a soft dark chuckle. The deep voice returned. "So it seems you _did_ eventually succumb to me, you fool. You would have spared yourself so much trauma and pain had you just come quietly." With America's trademark grin in place, he turned to face the other occupants of the elevator; one snickering as he checked off numbers, the other two gaping at him with shock and wariness. England's gaze was calculating, whereas Germany was simply dumbfounded.

"My lunch was great, England! I found a McDonald's that actually sells good hamburgers! See? Even France admires my awesome food!"

England gave him a piercing frown of concern.

For the most part, everything was fine until Prussia discreetly hit the button for floor ten at floor nine, and lurched in place as the elevator went up. "...Did you guys feel that?"

Germany and England turned to a wide-eyed Prussia while America silently pointed at the two fellow nations from behind. He quickly gave England a pair of moose antlers and Germany some bunny ears, and Prussia had to hide a growing grin.

In the silence, America suddenly spoke in the deep voice again. "I must find a more suitable host body. This one is quite annoying."

England whipped around, giving America a calculating stare.

Finally, the elevator reached floor eleven. Germany walked out without a word, and America strode behind him with his briefcase and cooler, whistling. England went to follow them, but Prussia held him back.

"What do you want, you imbecile?" England snapped. He wanted to follow America to find out what the hell that display was about.

"Dude, it's 'your Super Fucking Awesome Supremacy Highness'," Prussia sighed. "And anyway, I need to tell you something important."

England regarded the ex-nation with guarded curiosity.

"I can see your aura."

England digested that for a moment before snorting.

"No, seriously dude. Germany's is all gray and serious with some yellow and pink around Italy, and yours is gray and serious but with a lot of angry red in it too."

England glared.

"But America's aura was really weird just now."

England stopped glaring.

"His was like... yellow, you know? 'Cause he's all happy. But then, when he was talking to himself, it was like he was fighting a black thing, or something. And then when he stopped and got all happy again, it was the yellow again, but like there was a black shroud over it. You get me?"

England frowned. So there _was_ something wrong with America. From the outside, it might have sounded like a schizophrenic battling with split personalities, but for some reason, England thought the deep voice belonged to a vengeful spirit. It came as no surprise to him if that was indeed the case. He had heard of hundreds of cases of people getting possessed by evil spirits and demons, and once or twice had to go and exorcise them himself. It wouldn't surprise him if America actually had been possessed, seeing as mental strength was usually proportional to intelligence. But regardless, having a nation under a demon's control could only spell more trouble for the world than the normal America could ever cause, and anyway, he was one of America's only true friends, and he did feel it his responsibility to keep an eye on his former charge, even if they didn't always get along...

So England nodded to Prussia, silently thanking him for his warning, and headed off for the meeting. One way or another, he was going to get that demon out of America's mind!

The sleek silver doors slid closed once again, and Prussia rolled around on the floor laughing, tears sliding down his face. Oh god, England had actually _believed_ him! He thought there was a demon in America or something! This was fucking hilarious! This was double fucking _awesome!_

Still laughing to himself, Prussia pulled himself up to a sitting position against one of the walls and pulled out his phone, texting America.

In the meeting, America saw England come in, giving him a worried glance. America almost raised his eyebrow, but the older nation had broken his gaze and made his way toward his seat. As France stood up to begin the meeting, he got a text from Prussia.

_England thinks you're possessed. Don't be too weirded out if he tries some of his weird un-awesome magical shit on you._

England thought he was possessed...? Oh, this was _too good_. Prussia was right in picking England for those certain numbers. He quickly typed a response to Prussia before grinning from ear to ear. Oh, this meeting was no longer _boring_, that's for sure.

* * *

The meeting let out for the day at around five o'clock in the afternoon. This time, England took first place for leaving the room first, as the nation had grabbed his briefcase and dashed out the door.

After a brief holdup by China asking when he would pay his debt already, aru, America burst out of the meeting room, eager to get away from the other nation's hassling. He saw Prussia tiptoe out of hiding in the doorway opposite the elevators and into the currently empty one. America looked behind him to see Spain, Russia, and France all walking towards the elevators. The young nation quickly slipped in, heeding Spain's call to keep the doors open.

After a moment, all three newcomers walked into the elevator, France and Spain enthusiastically greeting Prussia. America's finger did not move off the DOOR OPEN button.

"America, we are here now, da? You can let the doors close now."

"Hold on, Russia, I'm waiting for someone," America said impatiently.

"Who?" Spain asked. "As far as I know, we were the last ones out of the meeting room."

"Just hold on," America snapped in a tone that left no room for further discussion.

Half a minute passed, with Russia studying America's cooler, which still bore the false label, France trying to touch everyone except Russia, and Spain humming to himself. Finally, America took his finger off the button and turned to Prussia, who was making car noises, beaming. "Hey, Prussia. How's your day been?"

It took a moment for the other countries to realize that Prussia was the one America had been waiting for. Prussia chuckled slightly. "Pretty awesome. You know me. Just talking to friends, ordering pizza..."

America snickered. "A large deep-dish pizza with extra cheese, ham, sausage, pepperoni, anchovies, and green peppers from Domino's?"

Prussia smirked. "Hell yeah."

The conversation drifted into silence until someone made a little meow.

Spain, France, and Russia all looked around curiously, and then at each other, as a high-pitched beep filled the elevator from some unknown direction.

Then everyone was staring at America.

America stopped beeping and grinned sheepishly.

Then Prussia gasped.

"You're one of _Them!_" he exclaimed indignantly, pointing an awesome accusing finger. "I can't believe this! All of this time you were playing me, and I thought you seriously might be awesome and heroic! Well dude, it is _not_ awesome and heroic to play me all this time!"

And he proceeded to hide behind France and Spain, giving America cautious accusing looks.

Before anyone could ask, the elevator went _ding _as it reached the lobby. Prussia immediately went "VROOM VROOM!" before making a dash out of the elevator, still giving America dark looks. France, Spain, and Russia all filed out afterward, thoroughly confused. America was just about to walk out, when suddenly, a black blur shot at him and threw him back into the elevator.

"YAAAAAAAAH!"

Prussia, France, Spain, Russia, and all the other nations still in the lobby froze, staring into the elevator as a black-cloaked assailant launched himself at America. America coughed as the attacker threw water in his face and proceeded to beat him across the head with something thin and metal. It didn't really hurt, but man, the ends could really prod his face... Then what felt like a book slammed his head down, and he heard something metal shake in front of his face. America tried to open his eyes and identify his opponent, but a hand roughly shoved him down. His attacker began chanting in a strange language, increasing in volume until he ended with a shout. "BEGONE, VILE DEMONS! LEAVE THIS BODY AT ONCE!"

…

America looked up to see England, in a black cloak and hood, reciting chants from an ancient tattered book, his right palm open in front of his face. America paused for a moment before frowning. Reverting to his fake deep voice, he said, "_It is time_." He risked a glance at Prussia as England's eyes widened in fear at his failed "exorcism".

Prussia had been suppressing laughter the entire time, glancing up occasionally while ticking off numbers. He waited expectantly for America to finish off their list with the last item, and as he checked it off, he glanced up to see America's gaze fixed on him.

Yes, he supposed America would want to end this charade now that England had gone and thrown himself quite painfully into an elevator attempting to exorcise imaginary demons. And anyway, this _was_ too fucking awesomely hilarious.

Prussia began to laugh loudly.

The lobby grew silent except for his loud raucous laughs as each nation fixed their gaze on him. Suddenly, America diverted the attention, starting off with small chuckles but eventually roaring with laughter just as Prussia did, rolling on the floor, clutching his sides, tears in his eyes.

"That... was... _awesome!_" the Prussian gasped, attempting to pick himself up off the floor.

"You're telling me." America's cheerful voice echoed from the elevator. He careful nudged England off him and stood up, grabbing his briefcase and cooler, quietly laughing as he walked out into the lobby.

"Dude!" Prussia said, clapping America on the back as the younger nation approached. "You have _awesome_ acting skills! I can't believe old England actually tried to perform an exorcism!"

"I still think the pizza call was the funniest!" America countered, smiling. "But that _was_ funny... Ohmygod, And so was Japan and the cooler! And did I tell you what I did to Russia?"

"No! What?"

"America!" both nations stopped laughing as a flushed England strode towards them, hood lowered now. "What in the bloody hell is going on here?"

Prussia and America stared at each other before looping an arm around each other's shoulder and bellowing, "APRIL FOOLS!"

The rest of the nations blinked, before remembering that it was, in fact, the first of April.

"Our meetings are lame and boring, and we don't get anything done, ever," America explained, not noticing Germany gritting his teeth. "And it sucks, too, because I was planning on pranking everyone. But we had our boring meeting, so I couldn't do some of the more elaborate pranks. Consider yourself lucky, Poland. You would have had quite a big food dye problem if I had gone through with that plan."

Poland looked nervous.

"Anyway," Prussia said, "my good buddy America here found the most _awesome_ list online, and we decided to spice up these meetings by having a little fun. And I might say it worked _awesomely_, as planned."

"Of course it worked! We're awesome and heroic!" America exclaimed. "Now, let's go get you that deep-dish pizza with extra cheese, ham, sausage, pepperoni, anchovies, and green peppers from Domino's."

And laughing the two nations strode out of the stupefied lobby arm in arm, tossing their list of 37 things to do in an elevator behind them.

* * *

Cheeeeeesy... Yeah, sorry about the lame cheesy ending. I kinda died right there...

**_Now, here are 37 things you must do in an elevator before you die. Or after. It really doesn't matter so long as you do them:_**

_1: Walk on, and then say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."_

_2: When the doors close, reassure everyone. "Don't worry, they open up again."_

_3: As soon as the doors close, say in a deep demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."_

_4: Grin stupidly at another person, then when they start to look uncomfortable, say, "I have new socks on."_

_5: Take your shoes off as you enter the elevator, and act disgusted that nobody else does._

_6: Let your cellphone ring. Don't answer it._

_7: Ask, "Did you feel that?"_

_8: Dress in a black cloak with a high collar and hood. During the trip, stare and say in a deep voice, "It is time."_

_9: Carry a cooler into the elevator that reads, "Human Head."_

_10: Stand in a corner grimacing, then slap your forehead and mutter, "Shut up, all of you, just shut UP!"_

_11: Pretend to be a flight attendant and go over safety and exit procedures._

_12: In the dead silence, ask the other passengers, "Was that your beeper?"_

_13: When people get on, shake their hand, greet them warmly, and tell them to call you Admiral_

_14: When arriving at your floor, pretend to struggle to open the doors manually, then act embarrassed when they open on their own._

_15: Stare at another person in horror, then yell, "You're one of THEM!" and back to the other side of the elevator._

_16: Draw a chalk square on the ground and tell the other passengers, "This is my personal space."_

_17: Stand motionlessly in a corner facing the wall. Do not talk to anyone, and do not get off the elevator. (See how many people deliberately stay on a long time just to see when you will get off.)_

_18: Drop something. When somebody else leans down to pick it up, scream, "That's MINE!"_

_19: Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let them close, turn to the person next to you, and say, "Hey, -insert name here-, how's your day been?"_

_20: Try to make personal calls on the emergency telephone._

_21: Offer to push buttons and then push the wrong ones._

_22: Say, "I wonder what these do?" and push all the red buttons._

_23: Bring a camera and take pictures of everybody in the elevator._

_24: If you have a briefcase/suitcase/purse/bag that must be opened, open it a tiny bit and ask, "Got enough air in there?"_

_25: Make car noises whenever the doors open/close._

_26: Say, "DING!" at each floor._

_27: Ask somebody which floor they want. No matter what they say, give them a shocked look and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!" Until one of you gets off, glare at them and make little disgusted noises._

_28: Tell people you can see their aura._

_29: Make obnoxious little noises occasionally._

_30: Make explosion noises whenever anyone pushes a button._

_31: When people are getting on, whisper, "Hide it-quick!", then act overly nonchalant._

_32: Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it._

_33: Swat at imaginary flies._

_34: When only one other person is on the elevator with you, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you._

_35: Ask somebody which floor they want. Then, ask in "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" style, "Is that your final answer?"_

_36: Congratulate everyone for being in the same elevator with you._

_37: As you reach your floor, get very emotional. Hug everyone and tell them you will never forget them._

* * *

EDIT: August 10, 2011: Wow, it's been almost a year since this has gone up and it's still getting lots of love! This is by far my most popular oneshot on this site. Many thanks to the people who review it and/or favorite it; love you all!

So, guess what guys? Yours truly went on a cruise about a month ago. On the last day at sea, the wind was really strong so nobody was allowed out on deck, and I decided to ride the elevators for an hour! I started doing things on this list to pass the time. I got some awkward, uncomfortable laughs, some really weird looks, and one person who knew what I was up to. And, in the course of my adventures, I befriended someone who went to my old high school but that I had never known! Small world! Moral of the story: ride the elevators for hours on end; you never know who you'll meet!

**More Adventures for the Awesome Trio (Yes, Denmark will be featured) are in the works! No set date on publication, however.  
**


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